HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-Hay’hate what I’m feeling right now!! :( I’m soooooo upset. As in, upset to the highest level, times the total number of zeros there is in a trillion dollars! My heart’s aching. Tears keep on falling. I’m close to dying. Srsly.

  End this or stay? IRDK. I’m so confused. He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me not!! He makes me feel that way. Isn’t he great?! :) :( Haay! Love can be very tragic, sometimes, or should I say, all of the time.

  Here we are again, going through a rough time. Here I am, again, trying to be strong. Not to let go, and just try to understand him. Pero tang’ina naman! Yung magtweet ba naman siya na “Hindi ka kawalan.” Fuck you siya to the highest level ng Mountain Everest! Siya na nga ‘tong may kasalanan. Siya pa galit galitan! Wow ha! You’re so awesome, asshole! Ugh! Naiinis ako sa’yo, sobra! Pasalamat ka MAHAL NA MAHAL KITA! :”(((( Pero sana naman isipin mo naman ano nararamdaman ko? Sarili mo lang kasi iniisip mo e! Letse! I tried and did my best to be a good girlfriend, but what are you doing? You’re pushing me away, my heart away. <////3

  Okay. I need to cool down. :( :( ……. I wish tomorrow’s gonna be a lot better than today. I’ll just pray.

  I’m very upset right now. :( Minsan, it’s really better not to interfere with your boyfriend/girlfriend’s social accounts. Coz the chances are, you’ll end up getting hurt. You’ll just hurt yourself. Just like I did to myself, a few minutes ago. .Bakit kaya ganun?! HE ALWAYS, as in always, MAKE ME FEEL SO UNWORTHY OF HIM! :’/ Super pangit sa pakiramdam. Feels like sh*t!

  Alam mo yung feeling na you’re not good enough for him? Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, not fun enough, etc. Tapos, every time you do something wrong, it’s always gonna be a big, and won’t-be-forgotten issue. Tapos kapag siya naman, kapag nagalit ka or magtampo, he’ll end up getting mad as well. Which is prolly bullsh*t! -_____- Also, one of the worst feeling that he always gives me is that, he always compares me. And I’m like, “WTF!!!?” *in my mind that is* :) :|

  Hay nako! Ba’t kaya ganito.. I feel like ending whatever we have. Para as early as now e makapagmove-on na ako. Para di na ako lalo masaktan in the future. :(((( Pero, Just the thought of letting him go hurts like a 1047238758217354589629 needles pinching me all the way in to my bones. Srsly! :( Mahal na mahal ko siya, pero bakit ganito nararamdaman ko. I feel like he doesn’t love me at all. I mean, he’s really sweet and everything but, hey, he always makes me think na hindi niya ako mahal with the words he say and his actions, sometimes. And, this, napakadali lang para sa’kanya na makipag break sa’kin. Yun sabihing, “Maghiwalay nalang tayo” or “Break na tayo.” <///3 And, it literally breaks me, my heart. From the first time he said that, the pain that I felt was engraved in my heart. Hindi na natanggal. Andun na siya, andito na sa puso ko. Yung sakit na halos patayin na ako ‘coz my heart goes like woah and I can’t hardly breathe. Kaya naman, whenever we fuss or argue, even over simple things, di ko na maiwasang paluha agad. Kasi bumabalik yung pain na naramdaman ko. And my mind’s like, “Hindi niya nga siguro talaga ako mahal.” :((( I’ll just keep quiet and cry my heart out, silently. As much as possible, ayokong pinapakita or pinaparinig sa’kanyang umiiyak ako. Kasi, ayoko ng awa. Ayoko yung pakiramdam na awa lang pala talaga nararamdaman niya for me, hindi love. Saklap nun! :(((

  So yeah, I have decided na from now on, I’ll be a little less with and of everything. I’ll be a little less sweeter to him, I’ll be a little less clingy, a little less attached, a little less in love with him. So that when the day comes na iiwan na talaga niya ako, the pain won’t be that much, it’ll be a little less painful, as well. :) :( I know this sounds absurdly insane but you can’t blame me. If you were in my shoes, you’d surely understand. As of this moment, he’s being unfair again. He’s still not home. I have no idea where he is and who is he with. And, as much as I hate it, I will try to care about it a little less. Or, won’t care, at all. I’m getting tired of every crap that’s going on between us. And, the best thing that I can do is ignore it. Ignore him. Ignore everything. But, holy crap!! Common, how am I suppose to do that when he means everything to me, every little thing to me! :( I guess life’s really unfair, huh? Yeah. Life’s full of sh*t, and we all just have to deal with it, ‘coz that’s the fvckin reality!! -___________-

  Okay, I’m sorry for the rude words but you can’t blame me. And, that’s the awful truth anyway. Now, then, I just realized that I shouldn’t rely on him, most especially with my happiness. That I should learn to make myself happy, even without him around, ‘coz maybe, one of these days, which I hope won’t come, our love story will be over, will end. Tragic, I know. But that’s just how life goes, very unpredictable. You’ll never know what will happen tomorrow. You’ll never know who will you end up getting married with, whom you’ll have kids and grow old with. But, do remember that, whatever decisions you make will always be the cause of what will happen in your future. So be responsible with everything you do. ‘Coz once it’s done, it won’t be undone.

  Uh. I think my blogs getting way too long now *you might find it lame and boring, as well* Sorry for eating a space in your Tumblr dashboard. Time for me to go to bed. My eyes are worn out. Cried hysterically. Kidding! But, I really did cry. :”((( Anywho, ciao! Good night and God bless!

Anonymous asked: Wala lang. Kasi nakikita ko sa tweets niya parang niloko mo siya eh. :/

Huh? Ako pa talaga nanloloko? Lol. No. I’d never do that to him. :(

  You always see what I lack and my mistakes! But, how come you can’t see yours? For once, did you ever wondered if you’re doing your part? I mean, does it always have to be me to do everything first? To text you, tweet you, talk to you, FIRST??! Gahhd! Then, you’ll pull a drama on me? Ohh, please?! Quit it! Ugh!

 Oftentimes, I get jealous over other’s relationship. Yung super sweet, mapapublic or private. When they both love to brag how lucky they are to have each other. When they’re eager to tweet or post whatever they’re doing, simple man o hindi, ‘coz they want the world to know how happy they are every second that they’re in each other’s arms. :)

  Sometimes, I really don’t understand what he wants. Kapag hindi ko siya tinetweet or kapag hindi ako nagpopost about us, he gets mad or magtatampo. Tapos whenever I post/tweet about us, or what we’re doing, magagalit din siya. He’ll then say, “Bakit ba kelangan lahat itweet?” I get hurt, whenever he says that. Hindi ko naman maixplain yung part ko. Na I just want everyone to know what’s going on about us, how happy we are each and every moment. That everything we do is special, very special to me. Priceless, kumbaga. Haaay! Ewan ko ba. -_______- :|